You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
