mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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