you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
