have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize