you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
