Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
