pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
