so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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