ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
