any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
