the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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