I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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