the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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