And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
