Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
