i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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