I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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