You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
