the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
