why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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