Where is the hickey?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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