How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
