peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you had me at cake vodka
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
