I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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