Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
