I can tuck mytits in my pants
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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