I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
