Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Randomize
