why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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