im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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