What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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