But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
