PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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