Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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