idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
