...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
