hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
