i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
