I just cut my nipple shaving
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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