oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
