Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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