He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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