...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
