I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
