she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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