i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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