he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
