thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
