Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
