We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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