we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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