Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
