I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
