Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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