she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
