We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
