my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it hurts more in the daytime
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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