Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
