dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
