then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
