I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize