nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
