I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
