Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
