I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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