Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
