Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
